What is the Difference Between Mediation and Decision Facilitation?

"I'm worried about Dad and Mom.  Dad needs more help than Mom can give him and we can't be there all the time. But they won't listen to us."

"I want to bring Mom home to live with me but my sister wants Mom to live near her in assisted living in Florida."

Ms. Hayes can help through 



Mom just had a minor stroke and she was Dad's primary care-giver.  My brother and I both work and have families.  Where do we go from here?

Ms. Hayes' extensive knowledge can help the family find the solutions they need through


Participant-oriented Mediation Decision Facilitation Services

Mediation is appropriate when the persons impacted by a particular life change cannot agree on the solution or avenue to take toward a solution. Frequently, a history of poor communication or just the emotions brought about by the change may lead to communication difficulties. Parties may be put on the defensive about why they think a particular answer is the right answer. And it maybe the right answer for them but maybe not for others. Participant-oriented mediation seeks to help the participants stop reacting and start to seek to understand and address the concerns of all involved. There are tools available under the articles and blogs link above but sometimes the help of a trained neutral is essential. Transformative Mediation in which Ms. Hayes has been trained aims to help the participants develop communication skills to help them resolve not only current conflicts but future disagreements as well.

As Mediator, Mrs. Hayes will not make recommendations nor try to lead the discussion. Her goal will be to make sure each participant is not only heard but understood by all.

Decision Facilitation is appropriate when the persons impacted by a particular life change are communicating fairly well but are just having difficulty processing the impact of the change and how they are going to deal with it. In this instance, Ms. Hayes can meet with all persons who are impacted and who will be participating in the change process to discuss what steps they might take and help them decide who might take those steps. For instance there might be unanamous agreement that Mom and Dad need more help and that their current independent living arrangement is not appropriate, but neither the children (particularly if they are out of state) nor Mom and Dad feel they are equipped to investigate how to go about the change. As someone with many years experience helping the elderly, she can help the family find the resources that they need. In Decision Facilitation, Ms. Hayes will provide resources and offer suggestions, but she will also use mediation skills to make sure that every participant is heard and understood.

Ms. Hayes fees for both Mediation Services and Decision Facilitation Services are reasonable and divided equally among the interested persons who are able to pay.